Stephanie Vaughan

Featuring Jamie and Ryan from “OC Pride: Crossing the Line”

“So what's so urgent at the mall? I thought you hated crowds.”

Jamie draped an arm over Ryan's shoulders, after first pulling him in
to drop a kiss onto Ry's hair and heading in. So pretty. They'd been
together nearly two years now and Jamie still hadn't gotten used to
the wonder of Ryan.

“Eh. No big deal. They have an Orange Julius here and I’ve been
craving one of their Chicago dogs. It just sounded good tonight. Do
you mind?”

With Ryan's blond, California beach boy looks, he could have had
anyone. That Ryan had settled into domestic bliss with a beefy,
goateed grease monkey like him still didn't quite gel with Jamie's
world view. But as long as Ryan kept coming home to him, Jamie
would keep accepting it and thanking his lucky stars for every
moment of every day.

“Nah. 'Course not. I just wondered.”

They made their way to the mall's food court, only drawing the
occasional look for being two men with their arms around each
other. Left to his own inclinations, Jamie would have stuffed his
hands in his pockets and let people assume it was a buddy date, not
two men involved in a long-term living arrangement.

Ryan would have none of that, though.

The first time Jamie had drawn back while the two of them were out
in public, Ryan had smiled sweetly, taken Jamie's face between his
hands and kissed him with tongue. Jamie had figured out pretty
quickly that although Ryan might prefer to bottom in bed, but when
it came to his public persona he saw himself as second to no one.
No one waved the rainbow flag higher or prouder. So here he was,
cuddling publicly in south Orange County’s busiest shopping mall.

Ryan didn’t mind that Jamie didn’t share his passion for hot dogs
with pickles and celery salt, so Jamie stuck with something not quite
so hazardous to his waistline, opting for a spinach salad from the
vegan cafe. Maybe it was true that love could move mountains,
because eating healthier was just one of the changes he’d made in
his life since Ryan had come into it.

Jamie found a table for the two of them and they proceeded to eat,
Ryan offering Jamie bits of his meal, chatting and smiling all the
while.

They’d eaten dozens of meals together by now – hundreds, maybe –
so what was it about this particular meal that was making Jamie
nervous? God, he hoped he wasn’t about to get dumped, because
he’d had relationships broken off in restaurants before; more than
once, as a matter of fact.

Quickly scanning his memories of the past few days, he couldn’t
think of anything he’d done to make Ryan want out. But what about
the previous weeks? Had there been signs he’d missed?

“Are you done?” Gathering their trash onto his tray, Ryan stood. “I
feel like walking a bit. How about you?”

“Sounds good. I’m done here..”

Hand in hand, they headed off down the broad expanse of tastefully
appointed thoroughfare that constituted one quarter of the mall’s
acreage. Mostly window shopping, occasionally Jamie paused to
admire a window display or Ryan would tug Jamie into a store,
asking his opinion on a piece of luggage. What did he think of that
scandalously low-cut pair of pants? Wasn’t this shirt fantastic?
What about that ring over there?

It wasn’t until Ryan turned into a quiet little shop whose window
display featured a stylized prow of a ship that Jamie stopped to look
at the name on the door.

Pass Par Two Travel.

Oh, no. Maybe this was Ryan’s way of telling Jamie he was leaving.
His way of letting Jamie down gently?

Jamie froze, his feet refusing to move another step. He stood,
dazed, while Ryan smiled at the perfectly groomed, absolutely lovely
young man behind the counter. Jamie’s heart squeezed painfully
when the young agent handed Ryan a packet and Ryan turned and
walked back to him. “Ready to go? I’m all done. I just wanted to
pick up a few things.”

“Going somewhere?” So his voice came out one-third growl,
two-thirds croak -- so what? He’d forced the words out and now
struggled to hang on to his composure while he waited for the
answer.

Later, Jamie would barely recall moving his feet, but he found
himself sitting on a marble bench, watching with glazed eyes as
Ryan broke open the thick cream envelope with its two sets of
interlocking P’s and T’s. Pulling out a handful of colorful brochures,
Ryan smiled up at him. “I hope so. Want to go to Alaska with me?”

Alaska?

With Ryan.

Go to Alaska with Ryan.

“Um, sure. Why not? Why Alaska?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just always wanted to go.” Ryan was sifting
through the various bits of printed materials, searching for
something in particular, it seemed. “Since… forever. Since I was a
kid, I always thought I’d go to Alaska for my honeymoon. I have no
idea why. Want to go here?”

Ryan gazed happily at a brochure of some sort, but Jamie couldn’t
focus. “Honeymoon?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of traditional.” Setting aside the leaflet, Ryan’s smile
changed, growing more intense and his eyes gleamed. “After two
people get married?”

Realizing all the while just how stupid he must look, Jamie struggled
to take it all in. This was beyond anything… He’d never…

“What do you say, Jamie? Want to marry me?”

Oh, God. What if he screwed this up? This could be failure on a
whole new level – a whole new plane of existence.

Shouldering the terror aside, Jamie reached for every bit of courage
he could scrape together.

“Absolutely.”

© 2008, Stephanie Vaughan
All rights reserved